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Guess the Song
England,
October 1216
No one tells me. I just know. He’s in trouble.
This doesn’t happen often, he isn’t a daring individual, not in that sense, but this feels different. Wrong.
I order my retinue, have my clothes packed, all my necessaries, comb, cloths, kohl for my eyes. I take a rough horse, built for stamina, not my fine palfrey, for I do not need to impress but to travel quickly.
A long journey, over a hundred miles. And, for what? A hunch? An idea? A feeling. A sense that this is urgent.
Three hard days on the road through a landscape rich with the regal reds and golds of autumn, England wearing its colours as if displaying itself at a tournament. We stop only to change horses, calling on favours and issuing demands, to travel to Newark.
He’s there; he is now. And I know because I can see the castle by the river. I recognise it. I see what he sees, feel what he feels. Newark. My guards are too familiar with me to question me.
No man gainsays me. No man owns me. My second husband has been dead these six months, killed in a tourney, the ass. I have heard the stories, met the man who is the Marshal, a man who would never succumb in such a pointless manner.
Still, it gives me the freedom to go to his side at Newark, to the man who holds my heart. To my first husband. My lord and my king.
They try to stop me entering his chamber but I glare imperiously, a look learned from my great aunt, Matilda. It comes naturally to me, I have been told all my life. They stand aside and I push through the door into the stifling gloom beyond.
Almost indiscernible in the dimness is the curtained bed and within, John.
‘How is it you are here?’ he asks, the lines on his face deepening.
‘I had to come. I couldn’t leave you, not now.’
‘So, I am dying.’ His acceptance is agonising.
‘We are all dying.’
‘But you came.’
Of course I came. ‘I miss you.’
He lifts his hand and brushes my cheek. It is a soft touch, his fingers tantalising. He has done this before, but before the sensation was more intense. He is too weak for that now.
‘We never stood a chance.’ His voice is low but I hear him. I shuffle closer to him across the covers.
‘You had to be king.’
‘Kingship confers all earthly delights, wealth, power, lust. But not love. Love is not allowed.’
‘You had to be king.’
‘Kingship confers all earthly delights, wealth, power, lust. But not love. Love is not allowed.’
‘We found it between us. We lost each other but not the love.’
He smiles and shakes his head. ‘There was never a place for us, never a time. Denied by man’s laws, not God’s.’
‘You made your displeasure clear. ‘
He laughs, a rough sound but not strong. ‘Not that it did any good.’
‘It did. It kept them all away and gave us moments.’
‘Not enough, not nearly enough.’ He falls back on the pillows, sweat beading on his forehead and the creases resemble a screwed up piece of parchment, and as pale.
‘What can I do?’ I ask, leaning to him.
He snatches at breaths until the pallor recedes and the lines are smoothed. ‘Nothing, my love, nothing. You are here. What more is there?’
Little.
He is so thin. Never heavy, more gracile and elegant than his hideous brothers, he now would sway in the wind.
I can’t see beneath the thick woollen blankets and the beaver fur cover, but I realise he is broken, snapped. Too brittle to face all his troubles, he finally splintered. Had I been with him could I have protected him? No, I think not. Not master of his fate, he is certainly the architect.
‘Will you stay?’
‘Naturally.’ The corners of my lips twitch. ‘I am between husbands.’
He grins. Then he sobers. ‘So you are mine again, my first Isabella. Without sharing you with anyone.’
‘I was always yours. And I always will be.’
‘Forever?’
‘Forever.’
He curls and twists with pain and I am helpless. We don’t have forever. As young as he is, I don’t wish forever on John. He has had enough. He has lost everything. Except me. Our forever will last until nightfall, no longer.
I hold his hand and he clasps me as hard as he can but he flutters like a trapped bird in my fingers. No sounds creep in through the gaps around the door. The room is silent but for the rasping of his breath. Everything is still but for the rise and fall of the covers. With each breath his chest lifts a little less and my pain heightens until the blankets remain flat and my heart breaks. I kiss his still warm lips and taste my own salty tears. I draw back and watch as his handsome face cools; his tousled hair appears more golden against his pale skin. I pull my legs up and lay next to him, my head on his chest, the only heartbeat my own. The tears still fall.
I am the only person who will miss him, whose world is now collapsing. They all wish him gone, except me.
There never was forever; it is a lie. And if there were a forever, it is purgatory, for I am alone.
And yet, forever is all I have left, stretching away, empty and dead.
© Nicky Galliers
Historical note: John and Isabella were married at Marlborough Castle in Wiltshire, on 29 August 1189, shortly after John acceded to the throne in 1199, before the end of August, he obtained an annulment.
Historical note: John and Isabella were married at Marlborough Castle in Wiltshire, on 29 August 1189, shortly after John acceded to the throne in 1199, before the end of August, he obtained an annulment.
Did you guess the song title?
Who Wants To Live Forever? Queen
(Official You Tube Video)
Nicky Galliers is Discovering Diamonds' technical editor and a prospective author |
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The Full List of Authors
December
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5th Paul Marriner Memories
6th Pam Webber One Door Closing
8th Barbara Gaskell Denvil Sticks and Stones
9th Judith Arnopp Secrets
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11th Anna Belfrage Hold Me, Love Me, Leave Me?
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13th Tony Riches Alas, My Love
14th Clare Flynn, Zipless
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16th Elizabeth St John Under The Clock
17th Alison Morton Honoria’s Battle
18th Jean Gill The Hunter
19th Patricia Bracewell Daddy's Gift
20th Debbie Young It Doesn't Feel Like Christmas
21st Ruth Downie Doing It Properly
22nd Nicky Galliers What God Has Joined
23rd Elizabeth Chadwick The Cloak
24th / 25th CHRISTMAS BREAK
27th Barbara Gaskell Denvil Just The One... Or Maybe Two
28th Deborah Swift Just Another Day
30th Cryssa Bazos River Mud
31st HAPPY NEW YEAR
Note: There is copyright legislation for song lyrics
but no copyright in names, titles or ideas
Love this description ' a landscape rich with the regal reds and golds of autumn, England wearing its colours as if displaying itself at a tournament.' I guessed the historical character at the beginning but am left with many questions as I don't know anything about this couple - always fascinating to guess at what love was in a medieval alliance - the annulment makes this one intriguing and it seems a bit quick to write off possibilities of an heir? Off to do research! And I did guess the song for once - from the story clues not the picture!!
ReplyDeleteOne of those bits of history that often gets overlooked... and I changed the clue as the original was a bit _too_ obscure!
DeleteBetter clue!
DeleteNicky - you are a great storyteller! this is lovely and, for once, shows a degree of sympathy for John. Add to that my favourite Queen song of all, I bow to you!
ReplyDeleteAnother story that brought a few tears welling up, although this time because of the song creating the atmosphere. And I agree, a rare glimpse of sympathy for John! (note I've changed the clue image)
DeleteWhat an intriguing story. I vaguely knew the name of Isabella of Gloucester but I see she was betrothed to John in 1176 as an infant, both knew each other as children, I'd think, then they had ten years of marriage together.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully written, Nicky. Are you going to write the story of her whole life?
I don't think I could do her justice. And a sympathetic view of John never goes down well! He sent her gifts frequently, and that's the ones that were recorded, and I wondered why, when she had married again, he was still attentive to her at all. So he must have liked her else he really wouldn't have bothered. And liking falls so easily into love. It can't be known if they did love each other through political expediency, but it they did, it would have brought each a little comfort.
DeleteA lovely vignette of a relationship seldom told. I hope you'll write more, Nicky.
ReplyDeleteOh, I do - it just never gets beyond my laptop. One day...
DeleteOh, I must go and look up John and Isabella now!
ReplyDeleteA lovely, alternative vision of what John might have been like - and a fascinating teaser for a future full-length novel! Lovely writing!
ReplyDeleteFabulous story - tight, intriguing and yes I guessed who she was. She could make a wonderful novella or novel. Wonderful.
ReplyDeleteThank you Carol - I agree about the novella idea!
DeleteI've always been intrigued by John, surely couldn't be as black as he has been painted. Go for it, Nicky, full length from John's pov please :)
ReplyDeleteBrilliant! I don't know anyone who could make me feel sympathy for King John. Well done!
ReplyDelete